How To Forgive

Post contributed by Emma Caddy


You need to forgive someone or something, right?

Maybe somebody has even told you that you need to do some forgiveness.

Maybe you have just reached the point that everything else isn’t working and maybe its time to try this forgiveness stuff.

Sure, you’re at the point where you are willing to look at forgiveness, but HOW??? How do you forgive? What do you do to forgive? How does this forgiveness stuff even work?

Ok, you need to forgive…but you still feel angry, hurt, upset. How do you change these painful feelings inside of you?

The good news – real forgiveness can change those very painful feelings. It can give you a complete change in perception of the whole situation, which is nothing less than a miracle. It can change the situation from cringingly painful to freeing and powerful.

However, you will need to put in some work. It’s not difficult, and the biggest obstacle may be yourself.

Step One – Be Willing

All forgiveness begins with a willingness to forgive.

This may be the most important step. Being willing to forgive sends a message to the Universe that you are willing to see things differently, and from here the Universe can start working for you.

To do this step, say aloud or to yourself “I am willing to forgive ____”

Next, give it time. It won’t happen instantly, but you have set the wheels in motion with a higher power.

Step Two – Find a Forgiveness Technique That Works for You

We are so fortunate to be living in a time when we have access to so many forgiveness techniques and tools. A quick search will help you find many.

Step two is trying different forgiveness techniques until you find the one that fits you and your situation. Just having that forgiveness meditation or worksheet is not enough. You actually need to start it. Don’t worry if you don’t get through it all on your first (second or even tenth) try. You are learning a new skill, and it will take time. You don’t have to do anything “perfectly.”

Give any of the following forgiveness techniques a try:

  • Ho’oponopono
  • Any tools from especially the forgiveness worksheets
  • A forgiveness meditation. There are many out there. Try a meditation by Doreen Virtue at
  • You can even try a cord cutting meditation. Again try Doreen Virtue at
  • Writing letters (but don’t send!) Write an angry letter to the person you want to forgive or an angry letter to the Universe (God, or the Higher Power you are comfortable with). Wait a few days and write another. Write as many times as you need to get the energy out. DO NOT SEND THESE LETTERS. These are for you to work through your thoughts and feelings, not for anyone else.
  • Praying to the Higher Power you feel comfortable with

While forgiveness may happen instantly, give it time and keep persisting. You know you have found forgiveness when you begin to feel at peace with the issue and those painfully charged emotions around the issue start to change.

As the lovely Denise Duffield-Thomas from says, start now. You don’t need a full moon; you don’t need to get naked, just start.

Step Three – Keep Forgiving

It’s easy to fall back into the old way of thinking and find yourself seeming to “forget” your forgiveness lessons. I find this is especially true if I’m not feeling well, I’m depressed or I have other things going wrong. With some reminders and a prayer, I am able to remember my forgiveness perception of the situation and stop feeling so powerless.

Forgiveness changes very old thoughts and feelings you have. It also challenges the thought system of the world that we are victims and others are bad. Be gentle with yourself and know that you may need some forgiveness reminders from time to time.

Things will improve, and those painful feelings can change. I believe you can do it.

My intention with this post is to help you start to forgive and heal.

Sending lots of love to you, Emma, The Forgiveness Collector.

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